Her Remorse

I once imprisoned myself
In a cage of sadness.
I drowned myself with my own tears.
I embraced the feeling of
Loneliness’ chain around my neck.
I once lived a life of blue
I was a pool of mess
I didn’t know any other feelings
Except melancholy.

Until I was given a shot
To taste a dip of happiness.
It was nice.
It was a mixed feeling of
Being freed from the chain
that held me from a long time
And being rescued from drowning
in a sea of tears.
I wish I knew before that
There exist happiness just beside sadness.

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Anchors are for Ships

“I was born to sail.”

That’s what I always say whenever she’s asking why are we doing this. She is my greatest companion. She’s with me wherever I go. She’s always there no matter how strong waves are and how cold ocean is. With her, I can just sail and sail not wanting more. I can go places, stay and wander if I want to but that was before I sent her away. I sent her away not knowing that she’s the most important part of me. I wish I have known earlier that without her I’d sink. Without her I’d be nothing but a ship slowly sinking deeper and deeper. Now here I am, beneath my beloved ocean, dysfunctional without my anchor.

You were once my someone
My rainbows and butterflies
My stars and sunshines
You were once my bliss
The reason to my loudest laughters
Down to my sweetest smiles
You were that someone I believed in
That someone I trusted with no doubts in between
You were my ‘go-to’ person
My ‘every’ buddy
My shoulder to lean on
You were basically my safe zone
My haven and my home

Because once upon a time,
We met each other.
Fate found its way for us to be together
And suddenly we clicked
We became something platonic–
And even more than that.
We were partners in crime
We were inseparable
We were solid
We were each other’s everything
And I thought we were endless

But you became so distant
You became cold
Your hands intertwined in mine 
slowly loosened its hold.
You became someone you promised you never be
You changed…
And you forgot me
We were not the same as before
We grew apart
And then we were nothing

You took me so high just to left me hanging
You pulled me close just to pushed me away
You made me whole just to crashed me into pieces
And how I wish you didn’t.

   —here’s to our fleeting moment

Don’t Want To

I dont want to be in a relationship– in any kind of relationship wherein you’ll get too attached.
You’ll get attached to the point that you know everything about each other– may it be flaws, secrets and fears. And when the time comes your relationship is already in a shaky, rocky road or you both no longer have the passion to stay or the sparks are already gone, all you will do is ruin each other. All of the things that you have in mind is revenge and hate. Suddenly, all you want to do is break each other’s hearts even more that after the relationship, you’ll just spill everything out like you haven’t been together for years. It is like you forget the good things that happened and all you remember is the drifting part– the hurting and breaking part. And I dont want that disrespectful, shaming kind of relationship. No, I dont.

The Thing About People

People act as if happy ones don’t have the right to be lonely.
It’s as if it has been written somewhere holy that they should stay happy all the time.
Is it forbidden?
Is it really necessary for them not to be lonely?
Should they fake themselves?
Should they push their buttons to the limit just to pretend they are happy even if they are not?
I guess no. All their life they have been happy.
They have given happiness on other’s lives;
they have painted smiles on other’s faces
And for a while I guess, them, being lonely won’t hurt too much.
Because they have the right to be lonely–to feel bad;
they have the right to also cry.
And that’s what we, people, always fail to understand.